When a loved one is struggling with addiction, emotions can run high, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. One of the most important steps in helping them is conducting an intervention. But what is an intervention? It’s a carefully planned meeting where family, friends, and sometimes professionals come together to encourage the individual to seek help for their addiction. The goal is to express care and concern while offering a path toward treatment. While interventions can be effective, they can also go wrong if handled incorrectly.
Don’t Make It About Blame or Guilt
What NOT To Do:
One of the most damaging things you can do during an intervention is blame or shame the individual. Comments like, “You’re ruining everything,” or “How could you do this to us?” may seem like expressions of frustration, but they often backfire. Instead of motivating change, these statements tend to drive the person further away, reinforcing feelings of guilt and isolation.
What You Should Do Instead:
Focus on expressing your concern for their well-being. Use “I” statements, such as, “I’m worried about your health” or, “I miss the way we used to spend time together.” This approach shows that your concern is rooted in love and care, not blame.
Don’t Hold an Intervention Without Preparation
What NOT To Do:
A spontaneous intervention, without preparation or structure, is a recipe for disaster. Many people make the mistake of thinking that just gathering everyone together and talking will fix the problem. Unfortunately, an unplanned intervention can cause more harm than good. If people aren’t on the same page or if emotions run unchecked, the situation can quickly escalate into an argument.
What You Should Do Instead:
Before holding an intervention, take the time to plan thoroughly. It’s essential to gather everyone involved and decide on the key points you want to communicate. Consider consulting with a professional interventionist who can guide you through the process and ensure everything runs smoothly. This will help everyone stay focused on the ultimate goal—encouraging the person to seek help.
Don’t Ignore the Importance of Timing
What NOT To Do:
Another mistake people make is not considering the timing of the intervention. You might feel desperate to address the problem immediately, but scheduling an intervention at the wrong time—such as when the person is under the influence—can have disastrous results. They may not be in the right frame of mind to understand the seriousness of the situation or make rational decisions.
What You Should Do Instead:
Choose a time when the individual will most likely be sober and calm. Early mornings or the day after a major incident can sometimes be the best time for interventions, as the person might be more reflective and open to hearing your concerns. Make sure everyone involved knows the timing and arrives prepared to communicate calmly and clearly.
Don’t Let Emotions Overrule the Message
What NOT To Do:
Interventions are emotional by nature, but allowing those emotions to take over can sabotage the entire effort. When emotions like anger, frustration, or sadness dominate, the conversation can quickly shift away from the goal of encouraging treatment. You might say something in the heat of the moment that you don’t mean, or someone might react defensively, causing the intervention to break down.
What You Should Do Instead:
Practice staying calm and focused before the intervention. Rehearse what you want to say, and write down your points if necessary. Having a clear script helps you stay on track, even if emotions start to rise. If you find yourself getting overwhelmed, take a deep breath and remind yourself of the purpose of the intervention: to offer help and support.
Don’t Overwhelm the Person With Too Many Voices
What NOT To Do:
While having multiple people involved in the intervention is important, having too many voices speaking at once can overwhelm the individual. If everyone talks at once or interrupts one another, it’s easy for the message to get lost. The person might feel attacked or confused, leading to resistance or denial.
What You Should Do Instead:
Designate a few key people to do most of the talking. These should be individuals who have a close relationship with the person and can express their concerns calmly. Let everyone else be present for support, but avoid overwhelming the individual with too many voices at once.
Contact Our Team
Conducting an intervention is a delicate process that requires planning, patience, and compassion. Knowing what not to do during an intervention is just as important as understanding what to do. If you need help planning an intervention or finding the right treatment program, 12 South Recovery is here to assist. Please share this blog post with anyone who might benefit from it, or contact our team today for professional support in organizing a successful intervention.
