The holidays after getting clean can be genuinely tough, not the picture-perfect scenes from commercials. When everyone around you is drinking at parties and family gatherings bring their own stress, staying sober gets complicated. You might find yourself caught between uncomfortable family dynamics, constant exposure to substances, and those nostalgic memories of “good times” that whisper maybe “just one more” wouldn’t hurt. These pressures hit harder when your support system isn’t solid.
While holiday sobriety is challenging, it’s absolutely possible. Taking time to prepare mentally, having honest conversations with those close to you, and creating a realistic game plan for navigating seasonal events can make all the difference in protecting your recovery.
Talk with Friends and Family
If your friends and family aren’t already aware of your substance abuse issues and that you are in recovery, they should be. People will often well-meaningly try to convince you to drink or even use, and they will hand you alcohol. If you aren’t prepared to cope and say no, you have to tell friends and family that. You may be able to ask close friends and family for an alcohol-free party or to keep you away from drugs and alcohol, but this will depend on how supportive they are of you. Discussing your addiction with anyone, even people you trust and love, can be difficult because there is a lot of social stigma surrounding addiction, meaning that most people spend a significant amount of time hiding it. Being honest and open and asking for help will be difficult, but it will help you to stay clean and sober.
This is the very first step toward long-term recovery and healing from an addiction. You must acknowledge that you need treatment, over anything else, to heal and find your true self again. Admittedly, this step of accepting that you need treatment is likely one of the most challenging in any addict’s life. However, we know that it is essential to anyone who hopes to live a long, healthy and happy life.
Utilize Support Groups
Even if you don’t regularly go to a sobriety or self-help group like AA or SMART Recovery, it can be helpful to do so over the holidays. This is especially true if you are traveling, don’t have anywhere to go to celebrate the holidays, or are spending time with people still using or drinking. Most 12-Step groups have chapters around the US, most have guest meetings, and most will have open meetings throughout the holidays so that people can walk in and get support. Having a channel to share what you are feeling and thinking with a group of peers who understand can be greatly beneficial to helping you stay clean and sober. Most people also greatly benefit from the added social accountability offered by support groups, because people are less likely to relapse when held accountable. If you’re already attending a support group, it’s always a good idea to discuss things with your sponsor or your peers and try to plan to have a sober buddy over the holidays.
Maintain Healthy Habits
Take care of your basic needs during the holidays. It’s easy to skip meals, lose sleep, or ditch your routine when things get hectic, but this puts your recovery at risk. Remember HALT? When you’re Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired, cravings hit harder and your resolve weakens. Something as simple as eating regular meals or getting enough rest can make the difference between handling a difficult moment and giving in. Don’t underestimate how much physical well-being affects your mental strength—they’re connected in ways you’ll feel intensely during stressful times.
Don’t underestimate what a quick walk can do for your holiday stress. When family drama or preparation anxiety hits, even 30 minutes of movement creates a natural high that actually fights cravings. There’s real science behind this—exercise releases the same brain chemicals your body misses from substances, but without the crash.
That said, recovery isn’t about replacing one extreme with another. Your sober holidays should feel good, not like punishment. Move your body enough to feel better, eat food you actually enjoy, and prioritize activities that bring real pleasure. The point isn’t just staying sober—it’s building a life worth staying sober for, especially during times when you used to think you needed something else to make things bearable.
Building a Real Support Network
Finding people who genuinely have your back is crucial once you decide to get help. For some, that’s family or friends who won’t judge your struggles or bail when things get messy. These relationships matter—they’re the ones who celebrate your progress and stick around during the inevitable rough patches.
If your personal circle is thin or complicated, look to connections within treatment—your therapist, group members, or others dealing with the same struggles you are. Many people rely on both worlds.
The truth is, recovery in isolation rarely works. We need people who can call us on our nonsense, offer help when pride makes asking difficult, and remind us why we started this journey when motivation fades. Without these connections, it becomes dangerously easy to slip back into familiar patterns.
Ask for Help
Asking for help might be needed when you know you’ll be around drugs or alcohol. Whether you tap a recovery friend, a sibling, or someone you trust, admitting you need backup in these situations is a strength, not a weakness. Having someone who understands your goals creates real accountability that often stops urges before they gain momentum. When cravings hit, you’ve already established the connection to ask for a distraction, suggest stepping outside, or simply acknowledge when you’re struggling. That initial request for support makes all the difference when you’re in the moment and need someone in your corner.
Plan to Say No
If you’re going to a party, people will offer you alcohol. The United States has a strong culture of alcohol and people who refuse it are often outsiders. You should expect people to be pushy and possibly even rude about it if you don’t know them, and sometimes if you do know them. Your best option is to rehearse how to say no, come up with ways to say no that work, and either be willing to share your state of recovery or find an excuse not to drink. For example, “I’m pregnant” is an excuse that will always work for women and “I’m the designated driver” will most often work for everyone. Being honest with your friends and family is always a good idea, but you may not be comfortable doing so with strangers at a party.
Planning how to say no also means that you’ll have something to say when you’re surprised with alcohol or when you’re suddenly fighting unexpected cravings.
Plan Your Holidays
Chances are that you’ve spent a lot of your previous holidays drunk or high and might not even remember them that well. Instead of sitting around and possibly glamorizing those old days, you should plan new ways to enjoy yourself and to have fun. Is there something you’ve always wanted to do? Can you go visit relatives? Are there local holiday related events? Can you play games? Sing carols? Volunteer at a soup kitchen? Build crafts? Volunteer in your family kitchen?
There are dozens of ways you can have fun and enjoy yourself with friends and family or on your own, and all without ever touching drugs or alcohol. Planning your holidays will help you to have fun, but it will also prevent you from becoming bored and lonely, which will likely trigger you to crave drugs or alcohol.
Remember Why You’re Sober
The holidays can be stressful, and it can be difficult to remember why you don’t want to drink or use when you’re constantly being exposed to alcohol. Taking the time to sit down and write out or remember why you want to be clean or sober can help you to keep your thoughts on the right track so that you don’t begin internally glamorizing your own lifestyle. This is important, because it’s often those moments of thinking about how much fun you used to have or that you deserve a break for once after all your hard work that will push you into a relapse. Consider why you went into recovery in the first place. What were your motivations? Has life changed for the better since you got clean and sober? Most people find it very helpful to make a physical list of motivation, which they can refer back to when needed.
The holidays are difficult for anyone going through recovery, but you can do it. If your friends and family are supportive, you may also be able to celebrate a drug and alcohol-free holiday season with them. If not, you should take steps to remind yourself of why you’re clean and sober, to stay in touch with your support network, and to make choices that will keep you in your best mental frame of mind. Finally, there’s no reason why you can’t have fun and stay clean and sober. Plan fun things to do and enjoy your holidays.
Contact 12 South Recovery Today
Are you or a loved one suffering from addiction? At 12 South Recovery, we aim to help restore balance to every area of your life – treating your mind, body and spirit, to find true recovery from addiction and mental health disorders.
Contact 12 South Recovery at 866-860-3471 today.
