Key Takeaways
- Pathological lying is chronic, frequent, and often serves no clear benefit to the person.
- Pathological lying can stem from personality disorders, trauma, or low self-esteem.
- Treatment at 12 South Recovery focuses on mental health care, therapy, and support for mental health disorders.
What Is a Pathological Liar?
Some people lie so often, even about things that seem unimportant, that it leaves others feeling confused, hurt, or betrayed. These lies aren’t always meant to deceive for gain; they can come from emotional wounds, trauma, or mental health issues. Understanding this behavior can help protect relationships and encourage support for those who may be struggling silently.
What Makes Someone a Pathological Liar?
Pathological lying is typically more than simply being dishonest. It’s a behavior that happens repeatedly; it often arises from some emotional or psychological pain. Some people lie to feel more special, feel less shame, or cope with insecurity. Others don’t even know why they lie.
Possible causes include:
- Trauma or childhood abuse
- Low self-esteem or a need to impress others
- Certain personality disorders like borderline or narcissistic personality disorder
- Mental health conditions that affect self-control or perception of reality
While most people tell occasional lies, pathological liars lie habitually, even when there’s no clear reason or reward. The behavior becomes automatic and often disconnects them from their true emotions and identity.
What Is the Difference Between a Pathological Liar and a Compulsive Liar?
Compulsive liar and pathological liar may sound similar, but they are not the same thing. A compulsive liar lies out of habit. These lies may not be dramatic; the main characteristic is they happen a lot, and they seem out of the liar’s control.
A pathological liar may come up with elaborate stories. These lies tend to involve deeper emotional or psychological needs, and may include major distortions of reality, exaggerations, outright lies, and deceiving others by creating entire stories.
Both kinds of lies can destroy trust and can be harmful in a relationship. However, when thinking about whether someone would be characterized as a pathological liar, it is important to remember that it may be associated with deeper mental health or behavioral struggles that need support.
Do Pathological Liars Admit Their Lies?
Rarely. Pathological liars often go to great lengths to avoid admitting their lies. They may genuinely believe the falsehoods they’ve told or feel shame that prevents them from confessing.
Some will double down when confronted, twisting the truth even more. Others may deny lying altogether. This denial makes it difficult to repair relationships, especially when the other person seeks honesty and accountability.
In clinical settings, many pathological liars require therapy to begin recognizing their behavior and making changes.
Can a Pathological Liar Love Someone?
Yes, a pathological liar can love, but their behavior often damages the emotional bond. People close to them may feel confused, hurt, or manipulated. Over time, trust deteriorates, even if love is present.
The constant cycle of lying and cover-ups can create emotional distance. For healing to happen, the liar must be willing to seek help, and their loved ones may need support to process the emotional impact.
Therapy can be a safe space where the liar begins to face the truth and work through the emotions behind the behavior. It also gives loved ones a chance to heal, rebuild trust, and learn how to set healthy boundaries.
Is a Pathological Liar a Psychopath?
Not necessarily. While some psychopaths may lie often, not all pathological liars are psychopathic. Psychopathy is a specific diagnosis involving lack of empathy, manipulative behavior, and disregard for others.
Pathological lying may share some traits with psychopathy, like manipulation or dishonesty. However, it’s usually connected to trauma, low self-worth, or personality disorders. Each case must be evaluated individually by a mental health professional.
What Mental Illness Causes Pathological Lying?
Pathological lying isn’t always just a personal choice. It can be linked to certain mental health conditions. While not everyone who lies excessively has a diagnosable disorder, there are specific conditions often associated with this behavior.
Personality disorders such as narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and antisocial personality disorder can increase the likelihood of habitual lying. In these cases, lying may serve as a way to gain approval, avoid abandonment, or manipulate others.
Trauma, especially during early childhood, may also contribute. People who grew up in homes where being honest led to punishment may have learned to lie to protect themselves. In some situations, manipulating the truth was the only way they felt safe or in control. As they grow older, those habits can stick and become hard to break. People with low self-esteem, anxiety, or depression may lie to help themselves feel safer or less overwhelmed. Lying can become a way to escape stress or emotional discomfort.
Therapy is essential for helping individuals recognize the reasons behind their behavior and develop healthier patterns of communication.
Do Pathological Liars Believe Their Lies?
In many cases, pathological liars do believe the lies they tell, at least to some degree. They may convince themselves that the false story is true because it helps them feel better about who they are. It also supports how they want others to see them. In some cases, the lie offers emotional relief or helps them escape feelings of shame or anxiety. With time, repeating the same lies over and over can start to feel like reality. Eventually, the line between what actually happened and what they said happened can become hard to see.
This distortion of reality often isn’t intentional. It can be a coping mechanism shaped by trauma, abuse, or mental health problems. These experiences can make it hard for someone to process emotions and events truthfully.
Do Pathological Liars Feel Guilty?
Some do, but others may not. Guilt often depends on the person’s awareness of their behavior and its impact. Many pathological liars rationalize their lies or disconnect emotionally from the consequences.
If guilt is present, it may appear as anxiety, self-loathing, or emotional withdrawal. A lack of guilt, however, can signal deeper issues with empathy or attachment.
With the right treatment, a person can begin to understand their emotions and why they rely on lies. Therapy provides a space to work through guilt, shame, and confusion. Over time, they can build stronger communication skills and start forming honest, meaningful connections. It’s a process that takes effort, but it can lead to real growth and healing.
How 12 South Recovery Can Help
At 12 South Recovery in Lake Forest, CA, we support individuals struggling with mental health challenges, including people who compulsively lie. Our team at 12 South works together with every individual we work with to help them be the boss of their lives again, and heal so that they may enjoy a healthier, and more honest existence. Our team serves as compassionate providers by offering therapy, counseling, and tailored mental health treatment.
As mental health experts, we care about why people lie in the first place, and focus on getting to the root of the problem. We investigate issues stemming from trauma, low self-esteem, or other personality-related problem areas so we can start the process of getting individuals on a healthier pathway of thinking and behaving. Using evidence-based programs, we help individuals regain self-control, honesty, and emotional connections.
If you or a loved one is living with constant lying or emotional instability, Contact 12 South Recovery Today! Healing is possible with the right care.
